The Comparison Trap: How Social Media Affects Each Enneagram Type and What to Do About It

Have you ever opened Instagram to unwind… only to close it feeling discouraged, behind, or somehow less than?

Yep. Me too.

Social media can be a great tool, but it also has a sneaky way of distorting our perspective... especially if we’re tired, disconnected, or already feeling unsure of ourselves. And the comparison trap? It hits each of us a little differently, depending on our core motivations and personality.

That’s where the Enneagram comes in.

When we understand how we’re wired, what we crave and what we fear, we can start to see how scrolling might stir up specific emotional responses. Sometimes it leaves us feeling like we’re not enough, and other times, like we’re too much. Either way, it disconnects us from our truest self.

So let’s take a look at how this might show up for each Enneagram type and what to do about it.

How Each Enneagram Type Might Experience the Comparison Trap

Type 1 – The Reformer

What you feel: “I should be doing more.” You see other people being productive, organized, or intentional and start to judge yourself for relaxing, falling short, or not having it all together.

Try this: Remind yourself that rest is responsible, too. You don’t have to earn your worth through perfection.

Type 2 – The Helper

What you feel: “Why am I not more appreciated?” You might compare your supportiveness to others and wonder why your efforts aren’t noticed or reciprocated.

Try this: Practice giving without expectation—and tend to your own needs offline. Your worth isn’t measured by others’ responses.

Type 3 – The Achiever

What you feel: “I’m falling behind.” You see others celebrating milestones, launching businesses, hitting goals, and start hustling to prove your value.

Try this: Ask: Is this aligned with my values or am I chasing validation? You are loved even when you're not achieving.

Type 4 – The Individualist

What you feel: “Everyone else seems more special or seen.” You might long for deep expression and feel like your uniqueness doesn’t measure up to others’ aesthetics or stories.

Try this: Create and share for yourself. You don't have to perform your authenticity, just live it.

Type 5 – The Investigator

What you feel: “I’ll never know enough.” You may scroll endlessly, trying to learn or prepare, but it leads to paralysis and self-doubt.

Try this: Pick one account, one resource, one step forward. You don’t need to know everything to begin.

Type 6 – The Loyalist

What you feel: “Am I doing this right?” Social media can increase anxiety by showing conflicting opinions, bad news, or overhyped advice.

Try this: Mute the noise. Turn to real relationships and trusted voices, not just popular ones.

Type 7 – The Enthusiast

What you feel: “I’m missing out.” The highlight reels can make your current life feel dull by comparison. Everything looks more exciting elsewhere.

Try this: Ground yourself in gratitude. Choose one thing today to savor instead of chasing the next thing.

Type 8 – The Challenger

What you feel: “Why doesn’t anyone see how hard I work?” You might feel unrecognized or frustrated when others get attention without putting in the same effort.

Try this: Pause before reacting. You don’t have to prove your strength. Let yourself be seen, not just respected.

Type 9 – The Peacemaker

What you feel: “I don’t really matter.” You might fade into the background online, believing your voice doesn’t add much to the noise.

Try this: Your quiet voice still counts. Even a small, honest share can make someone feel less alone.

Why Social Media Can Feel So Personal

It’s easy to forget that social media is curated—it’s not the whole truth. Even “real” posts are filtered through intention, lighting, and timing. When we compare ourselves to that, we’re comparing our full humanity to someone else’s highlight reel.

But when we’re grounded in self-awareness and truth—especially through tools like the Enneagram—we can resist that urge to perform, please, or disappear.

3 Ways to Avoid the Comparison Trap

Whether you're an Enneagram type 2 or type 9 (or still figuring it out), here are a few practices that help everyone scroll with more awareness:

1. Pause before you scroll.

Ask yourself: What am I actually looking for? Connection? Distraction? Inspiration?

2. Curate with intention.

Mute or unfollow accounts that stir up shame or stress. Follow people who inspire growth without pressure.

3. Reconnect to your identity.

You are more than your image, your output, or your likes. You are enough as you are. Period.

Final Thoughts

Social media isn't going away—but we can change how we engage with it. The more we know about ourselves and what triggers us, the more grounded, authentic, and peaceful we can be—even in a world full of noise.

If you want support in discovering your Enneagram type or learning how to work with your natural patterns instead of against them, I’d love to help.

You can start by listening to this week’s podcast:🎙️ The Comparison Trap: What Social Media Stirs Up in You

Or head over to my website and check out what it will look like to work with me.

And remember: You are not too much. You are not falling behind. You are not alone.

Don’t forget, there’s strength in numbers.

– Jilann